bruce_hh

Number of posts: 4431 Age: 64 Location: Monterey, California, U.S.A. Points: 4928 Registration date: 2008-10-22
 | Subject: THIS VILLANELLE Wed Nov 30, 2011 2:37 am | |
| THIS VILLANELLE
This villanelle is "into holidays." The "holidays" keep straddling some bright fence. "The fence" has much to do with our dismays. Each earthly moment forms another phase implying that we quickly must fly hence. (This villanelle is "into holidays.") As mortals you and I demand a raise that lends fine thievery ample recompense. ("The fence" has much to do with our dismays.) Unhappy as a fact-heap that must gaze at crystal balls indicative, I'm dense. (This villanelle is "into holidays.") Our purposes stay swathed in purple haze which ceaselessly repaints our cheesy bents. ("The fence" has much to do with our dismays.) Perhaps aware how crime both plays and pays, we welcome concepts that would add much sense. (This villanelle is "into holidays.") ("The fence" has much to do with our dismays.) |
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davidf
Number of posts: 1799 Points: 1579 Registration date: 2008-10-22
 | Subject: Re: THIS VILLANELLE Wed Nov 30, 2011 11:32 pm | |
| Bruce, A good villanelle, but I think it might be easier to read with some ;line breaks between stanzas. Your friend, David Fox |
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bruce_hh

Number of posts: 4431 Age: 64 Location: Monterey, California, U.S.A. Points: 4928 Registration date: 2008-10-22
 | Subject: Re: THIS VILLANELLE Thu Dec 01, 2011 3:48 am | |
| Dear **David**: I'll ~run things together~ -- as if I were hell hewn from leather. I meanwhile opine that stanzas are fine dividers of formats of weather. |
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