Dave was 19 years of age and just like a lot of lads his age group he’d successfully passed his driving test a few months prior and was already totally cock sure of his driving abilities. His ability behind the wheel of a car impressed his father so much; each time he was driven by his son dad always gave him the same response. Dad always said,” David you’ll have to calm down behind the wheel of a car take my word for it you drive just like a bloody maniac. One of these days you’ll end up having a bad accident take my word for it matey” Each time Dave cheekily answered his dad with, “it’s not me who’s too reckless Dad its you who’s too damned slow you’ve just got no guts”! Dad was very angry with this statement and angrily answered,” one day mate you’ll be forced to eat your words don’t talk to me in that cocky, sarcastic tone of voice if only you were capable of listening for once”! Needless to say Dave always thought that his father was the last person he needed to listen to for advice, it was clear he just wouldn’t be told in any way.
However that fateful day came when Dave was forced to have to realise that he perhaps didn’t know everything about driving after all. He was literally forced to eat his words! It was a typical Easter Monday Bank Holiday and Dave had agreed to meet his crowd of mates in a local pub in the town, which he lived. After he’d downed several beers he decided to phone Debbie, the girl who at that moment in time he was currently dating. It turned out that she was rather taken aback that Dave hadn’t chosen to come and see her today. She was a typical girl of 18 years of age and she was rather huffy that Dave had given his mates priority over her! After being given an ear bashing over the phone by Debbie, Dave got it into his head that maybe he should drive over to see her after all. He’d met Debbie at college and she lived in another town around 25 miles away. Dave assured Debbie over the phone that he would see her within the hour. Naturally he excused himself to his mates that he would have to cut this drinking session short and go and meet his girlfriend.
Straight home he went and when he arrived home it was only his mother who was in. Naturally she sensed he’d had a few drinks and said,” for crying out loud David you mustn’t take the car out you know you’ve been drinking and besides that the car’s hardly got any petrol in it”! Dave said abruptly, “mother I haven’t had anything that much to drink all I’ve had is a couple of halves of lager I’ll be perfectly okay to drive over to Debbie’s”! Mum tried to fight her son over getting possession of the car keys, but it was to no avail. Dave soon got them of their hook in the kitchen and stuffed them into his trouser pocket. He said,” trust me mum I’ll be okay and I can assure you that I’ll fill the car up with petrol sometime today” (bullshit, bullshit)! Despite mum’s protests Dave started up his parents 2 litre Rover and drove off! Mum wasn’t stupid she realised that there was no way a young lad of 19 years of age could possibly have been in a pub for more than two hours and have only consumed two halves of beer. Especially when he liked a few pints as Dave certainly did and when all his mates had been merrily sinking the pints too!
For the first few miles everything went okay until that fateful moment arrived, when the reserve fuel light lit up on the dashboard. Dave then realised that he would have to drive carefully in order to save fuel. The reserve tank’s capacity maybe wouldn’t get him to Debbie’s and back and in his pocket he had limited money for fuel replenishment. He reached a long sweeping hill named Harewood Bank and in today’s brilliant spring sunlight the valley below was a simply glorious sight. Immediately Dave embarked upon a decision to turn off the car’s ignition and to simply freewheel down the long sweeping hill, which was ahead of him. Yes this would surely save some petrol as it would be a while before he would need to restart the ignition. For several seconds his mind was focussed on the glorious view, which lay ahead of him.
This was fine for the first 300 metres as he swept around a blind bend gathering momentum all the time, but as he freewheeled round disaster struck! Ahead there was a road bloc due to an earlier accident, which had resulted in a long, stationary queue of vehicles. In a panic Dave hit his brakes, but to his horror, shock and dismay there was simply no braking power there at all! He simply hadn’t realised that turning off the car’s ignition at the main switch would severely impair the car’s braking system. He’d simply pressed the pedal and the brakes had hardly worked at all! He’d been totally naïve to the fact that turning off at the ignition would take the entire Servo off the Rover’s braking system, rendering them practically ineffective! Not to mention that the power steering wouldn’t function either. In a panic he tried to turn the ignition back on, but when the car in front loomed uncomfortably closer Dave realised that maybe he’d acted a little too late! The alcohol that he’d consumed earlier hadn’t exactly helped his reactions either.
The Rover’s engine promptly restarted and the brakes full power returned, but alas it was too late. Dave left trails of rubber on the road and next the inevitable happened, an almighty bang! Dave was shell shocked and climbed out of the now severely damaged Rover and the driver of the vehicle in front immediately alighted from his car. However Dave wasn’t met with the reaction he expected to receive, the man was surprisingly calm especially when Dave showed great concern for his distraught wife. The man even sensed that Dave had been drinking and said,” where are you going and could we possibly give you a lift and get you away from the scene of the accident”? Naturally Dave said, “yes thank you very much kind sir it would be for the best as no doubt the police will be at the scene very soon”! Believe it or not the man even said,” well son no doubt you’re badly shaken up but I’m sure you’ve learnt your lesson eh? I’m just sorry that you’ve had to be put through such a difficult lesson before you eventually learned it”. Dave found himself having to agree with the man, but not being at all sure that his father would be prepared to view things in the same light!
Once he’d arrived at Debbie’s Dave decided that the dreaded moment had arrived where he would have to phone his father and face the music! He dialled his house number and the brr brr, brr brr, started. After just a few rings he heard the receiver being picked up and his father’s voice saying, “hello who’s speaking please”? Dave just faultered,”hello Dad I’m afraid I’ve something to confess”! Dad didn’t properly reply he just abruptly barked, “right where is it”? His son sheepishly answered and then heard the distinct sound of an abrupt disconnect. Yes mum had told her husband regarding how their son had come home from the pub and she’d told him not to take the car out. She explained that their son had arrogantly defied her and just pushed past her and grabbed the car keys out of the kitchen cupboard! Dad had already sensed that something undesirable would be due to happen this afternoon. As soon as he heard the phone ring and Dave on the other end he already knew that his son had no doubt some bad news to confess! Dave just stood there for several seconds in sickening silence listening to the continuous hmmmmm, which emerged from the handset and then he forlornly replaced it! After sharing his grotty experience with Debbie and her parents they agreed to drive him back home later on, after his system had at least had chance to settle down.
It was around 10 O clock at night when Dave eventually arrived back home and Debbie thought it would be for the best if he faced his angry parents alone. Naturally Dave just had to agree and he tried to enter the family home acting as if nothing had happened at all! He said his good evenings to his mum and dad and tried to ignore the angry scowl on his father’s face! Immediately his father started and said,” right then matey you’ve got some explaining to do haven’t you eh? Before you start you’ll be pleased to know that the Rover’s been recovered and I’ve already seen the damage you’ve done to it”! Before Dave could even answer his father raved,” it’s in a real mess and I’d like to know how the hell you managed to trash a Rover like that”?
The car was an early 1970’s model and built like a tank and dad knew that it would have taken a high impact prang at a considerably high speed to wreck it like it had been mangled that afternoon.
Today at 3:21 pm by 
Subject: Dave Eats his Words! 
